Dress to feel sexy. You could try this completely naked, or in your silk undies, or a sensual piece of lingerie. Something that makes you feel sensual and sexy.

Sit down or lie down someplace quiet. Take a very deep breath in through your nose, not your mouth. Breathing through your nose keeps the charge of energy in check, increasing control and slowing your metabolism.

To breathe properly, when you inhale your abdomen should protrude not your chest. When you exhale, your abdomen should flatten. When you breathe in you should breathe completely until the lungs are full and when you exhale it should be until all air is expelled.

Breathe deeply and completely. Try not to think about anything. Focus your mind completely on your breath, letting it flow in and out with each breath.

Repeating a mantra such as the word "relax" or some other soothing word while breathing can also be helpful in keeping the mind focused on the breath. For the goal of arousal you could choose a word like "sexy" or "passion" or "sensuous."

Do this several times until you begin to feel your body begin to relax. Once you are relaxed then take the very tip of your fingertips and caress your body. Run your fingertips gently across your arms, across your inner thighs, your breasts, your abdomen, your neck, your face. Touch any or all parts of your body with a sensuous caress.

Keep your mind focused completely on the enjoyable sensations you are experiencing.  When breathing out, with your minds eye guide your breath into your breasts and vaginal area. When you begin to feel the surge of arousal, meditate on it and let it radiate through your body. Imagine that when you breathe in and out that sexual energy is pulsating through your body.

Continue to breathe deeply though the nose. As you continue to touch yourself, bring a particular fantasy into mind and play it out in your head. This fantasy may include your favorite celebrity, that sexy neighbor of yours, or whoever it is that light your fires. If you are in a relationship you can fantasy about what you `re going to do with your lover the next time you're together or what you would like to happen. You can also relive a particular passionate sexual adventure you experienced in the past.

Once you are aroused you can then masturbate, make love with your partner or let the arousal build until later. Practicing this technique on a regular basis can help build your desires and keep them alive.

Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., is a sex counselor/educator and author helping monogamous couples increase sexual satisfaction, be better lovers and keep the passion alive. She is also author of the hot new sex guide for couples titled, "The Lovemaking Smorgasbord - A Couple's Menu for Feeding Passion & Fidelity." Subscribe to her FREE Monthly Ezine, Smoldering Embers, and get hot sex tips, techniques and secrets guaranteed to keep your fire burning.

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